Quick Tip for Lasting Love — Apply the 5:1 Ratio
Have you heard about the 5:1 ratio for a good marriage? Marriage researcher and psychologist John Gottman found that happily married couples have five positive interactions or express five positive feelings for every one negative emotion or interaction.
Positive conversations and interactions include showing interest, asking questions, being empathetic, and showing affection. Negative ones include complaining, criticizing, and expressing angry or hurt feelings.
Are you already applying the magic ratio? If not, you can turn things around by making it a point to ask your partner, “How was your day?” telling him or her what you liked about the class you just attended, saying thank you for the delicious dinner and for listening to you vent about a challenge at work, and saying how nice your mate looks in the new outfit. Okay, that’s five. We need to give five like those for every “Your shirt has a spot on it.” So make sure to notice what’s going well.
For a New Year’s resolution for 2020, how about consciously applying the 5 to 1 ratio with your significant other. If you do this, you’ll like the results.
Happy New Year!